One day in the shower, you figure it out. It's a special day in a man's life. I was like, 'Oh, I found me a hobby.'

What if God's a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I'll never know why!

Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.

I got into cars through my father. He used to work on cars. My job was to hold the light, which pretty much was the limit of my mechanical abilities.

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.'

The only marriage I've observed for any length of time is my parents - 35 years. I asked my pop, I go, 'Pop, 35 years - what do you hope for?' He's like, 'I hope you die first.'

I love that magazine, man - Victoria's Secret - and it comes, like, every three hours.

There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.

I am a Catholic. Basically, the Catholic religion is 'If it feels good - stop.'

Ladies, your happiness is very important to us. You have to understand that. Because when you're happy, you let us touch you.

I love to believe that there's one god but there's many different religions so there's just the question of which long distance company you pick.

Even if doors are open to the fool, he/she will still be foolish in accessing them.

Dreaming is free.

Sir James Jeans Always says what he means He is really perfectly serious About the Universe being Mysterious.

The real contest is always between what you've done and what you're capable of doing. You measure yourself against yourself and nobody else.

I didn't dare let my mind wander off.

The poorest people are not people without money, but people without memories of happier times when they're down

Christ's followers cannot expect better treatment in the world than their Master had.

Conspiracies are a perennial favorite for television producers because there is always a receptive audience.

We all have to control our feelings. That's the thing that separates us from animals.

I started writing every day. I never stopped.