Oh, we are ridiculous animals; and if the angels have any fun in them, how we must divert them!

I never found even in my juvenile hours that it was necessary to go a thousand miles in search of themes for moralizing.

The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well.

In all science, error precedes the truth, and it is better it should go first than last.

Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.

The Methodists love your big sinners, as proper subjects to work upon.

This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.

Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.

Who has begun has half done. Have the courage to be wise. Begin!

Foolish writers and readers are created for each other.

When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun by nettles.

I'd cut up my heart for you to wear if you wanted it.

You don't have to think really hard to get the joke. I think humor in general appeals to all people.

The National Association of Theater Concessionaires reported that in 1986, 60% of all candy sold in movie theaters was sold to Roger Ebert.

Cruelty would be delicious if one could only find some sort of cruelty that didn't really hurt.

But somethings in life are more important than being happy. Like being free to think for yourself.

I rose from marsh mud algae, equisetum, willows, sweet green, noisy birds and frogs.

When you are healthy you look your best and in modeling when you look and feel your best, you get the best results.

Well, of all the bacon-brained, sapskulled, squirish, buffle-headed nodcocks!

It is difficult to whistle and drink at the same time.

Hollywood is like a stock market - you're always up and down and all around. With age, you start to invest less in the outcome of that.