Obviously comedic styles do change.

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

I try to pray everyday or night to thank my Personal Lord for all that he has given me, all that he is giving me, and all that he will give me.

We are God's middle children, according to Tyler Durden, with no special place in history and no special attention.

The way I see it if you want the rainbow you gotta put up with the rain.

Ah! let us love, my Love, for Time is heartless, Be happy while you may!

Id always been a big reader, and I loved books, and I always thought writing would be a great way to get by in the world.

It rests with every professor of the religion of Jesus to settle within himself to which of the two religions, that of Jesus or that of Paul, he will adhere.

I went from somebody who didn't sing to somebody who didn't speak.

If you have children in your house you have Frosted Flakes.

I did what most writers do when something happens that's overwhelming, fascinating, moving, all of that. I didn't know what else to do about it except write about it.

We thought the hard part was over—but we were wrong. Living is the hardest part. Figuring out how to live your life when you’re all busted up inside and out—there is nothing harder.