Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Tithing is a sacred gift to health and wealth.

To unleash your full potential recognise and acknowledge the greatness in others.

A wise neuter joins with neither but uses both as his honest interest leads him.

She got the magazine on a Wednesday morning, and on Thursday announced our marriage was over.

Please be a traveler, not a tourist. Try new things, meet new people, and look beyond what's right in front of you. Those are the keys to understanding this amazing world we live in.

My number one advice to high school girls is birth control. You want to keep all your options open for as long as possible? Birth control.

It used to be enough just to make a fairly decent product and market it. Not anymore. In the '90s, you've got to have a Corporate Soul.

I want a girl who will takes care at me whenever im sick,and right here with me everytime.

I've worked with Frank [Darabont] on two collaborations, The Majestic with Jim Carrey and Stephen King's The Mist.

A fear-stricken person can never know God, and one who knows God will never fear a mortal man.