Never assume that you're stuck with the way things are. Life changes, and so can you.

Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.

Be someone who listens, and you will be heard. Be someone who cares, and you will be loved. Be someone who gives, and you will be blessed. Be someone who comforts, and you will know peace.

What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.

Achievement does not require extraordinary ability. Achievement comes from ordinary abilities applied with extraordinary persistence.

Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment.

Happiness is a choice, not a result. Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.

Life does not owe you anything, because life has already given you everything.

You've done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.

Spread the seeds of encouragement far and wide, and delight in the bountiful harvest that they will surely bring.

Don't lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality.

The big bad monster wasn't green and hiding under the bed, it wore tasteless floral prints, bright scarlet lipstick and sat in the kitchen smoking and saying 'bollocks' alot.

Being grounded in your lifelong culture and your personal perspective, you are comfortable with the way you see things and may believe it is the best and only way.

Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary.

A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.

Every child is your child.

Reality TV is the perfect antidote to people who don't have enough self-centered douchebags in their life.

Spock is definitely one of my best friends. When I put on those ears, it's not like just another day. When I become Spock, that day becomes something special.

My mother is more of an adviser. I followed everything she did when I was younger, because I looked up to her so much.

shocked to realize how much vitality is required simply to support our primitive requirements, we wonder, bewildered, where Art fits in.

To err is human; but contrition felt for the crime distinguishes the virtuous from the wicked.