My politics just kind of developed over time as a reaction.

You don't have to think exactly like me. When people go, "I don't agree with everything you say," you know what, if you agree with everything anyone says, you're an idiot.

I don't know how many times a phone call or e-mail starts with, "I don't agree with anything you say but you're funny as hell so I listen to your show, I love your show."

You don't have to be straight. You just have to shoot straight.

Fox succeeds because it's entertaining. It's like a rightwing freak show.

I was actually abandoned by wolves and then raised by Republicans.

Is it possible that more black people hate the President than are actually alive?

I like fighters. That's why I love Russ Feingold. I love Barbara Boxer. And Howard Dean and John Conyers. Democrats I talk to around the country want their leaders to come out and fight for them.

I auditioned for 'Cats' - I didn't sing but I was able to cough up a hairball.

This is so sexist. I mean, are we really going to put this as a standard of something we are going to judge our presidential candidates by?

Rush Limbaugh, whether you hate him or not, he's a great entertainer; he's a great broadcaster.

Anytime one tries to take fragments of one's personal mythology and make them understandable to the whole world, one reaches back to the past. It must be dreamed again.

The reason why lovers and their mistresses never tire of being together is that they are always talking of themselves.

My mom was amazing. She believed in me and we were best friends.

When you do stand-up, you're just concerned with trying to leave with some semblance of human dignity at the end of your performance.

I could spit dust I'm so mad. He wants to put violins on my new session. I'll die before I'll go all the way pop.

I extend my appreciation to the associations, movements and all those who defend human life.

You must never name the goal. You must never tell us the target you're hitting for. You must automatically go toward it without ever naming it.

I lost track of day and night too. My time was divided into Dimitri and not-Dimitri. He was my world. When he wasn't there, the moments were agony.

With the early Christians you couldn't have God as your father unless you have the church as your mother. This isn't accepting the church as a perfect thing.

Is this government of Britain's Isle, and this the royalty of Albion's King?