My life has been a series of emergencies.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

If you stay away from parties, you're called a snob. If you go, you're an exhibitionist. If you don't talk, you're dumb. If you do talk, you're quarrelsome. Pardon me while I change my nail polish.

I would rather lose a good earring than be caught without make-up.

I find men terribly exciting, and any girl who says she doesn't is an anemic old maid, a streetwalker, or a saint.

How does it happen that something that makes so much sense in the moonlight doesn't make any sense at all in the sunlight?

It's said in Hollywood that you should always forgive your enemies - because you never know when you'll have to work with them.

My goal was to have one husband and seven children, but it turned out to be the other way around.

I'm so gullible. I'm so damn gullible. And I am so sick of me being gullible.

Well, I'm going up and up and up - and nobody's going to pull me down!

Where wolves live, the forest is healthy

Each book which so far is written is filled with a new thoughts... new images... new arguments... new discussions.

Gratitude isn’t innate. It’s a habit that has to be learned through practice.

To have a show have lawyers fighting civil rights cases week in and week out, I think it's exactly what we need.

I didn't have any agenda or plan when I started writing stuff.

I love physical comedy. I love Oscar Wilde, I love Shakespeare comedies, I love improv.

My, I like Judy Holliday! She looks like a Monet model. And she's so - so defenseless. I like defenseless people. They're the best.

Light and subject is inseparable. But when it is well integrated, it becomes the work of a fine masterpiece.

“There is no drama so great as that of a teenage girl,” ... “Except yours.”

The one reader I'm trying to please as I write is me, and I'm pretty difficult to please.

You cannot call it love, for at your age the heyday in the blood is tame