Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

Everybody's trying to leave their mark on the world. That's why there's graffiti and babies.

Turkeys are peacocks that have really let themselves go.

No one knows who the real me is, so I can be a hundred different kinds of me.

I diagnosed my loneliness as premature empty nest syndrome.

He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in the end, love overcame. And I got what I wanted. I always get what I want.

I would love for people to know that the label feminist is something that everyone should wear proudly, because it just means that you support women.

This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.

I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.

You know, quite a few species of fish require two or more sexual partners.

Fingernails are for opening things and toenails are for storing precious minerals off the ground.

But if home suddenly becomes not like home, what then?

Anger is the wind which blows out the lamp of the mind.

The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!

This is laid down with a groove funkier and blacker than anything Prince of Michael Jackson--or any other black artist of the recent years for that matter--has come up with.

I cannot divine how it happens that the man who knows the least is the most argumentative.

Much like a GPS, love re-calibrates itself if you've made a wrong turn.

I probably drive casting people crazy because I'm not thinking about actors so much as real people.

Don't let the cat out or the concierge in: this is the first principle of socialist ladies.

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From my point of view, which is that of a storyteller, I see your life as something artful, waiting, just waiting and ready for you to make it art.