Most armies are in fact run by their sergeants - the officers are there just to give things a bit of tone and prevent warfare becoming a mere lower-class brawl.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I'm tired of being your best friend. I'm tired of being second best. I won't settle for that anymore. It's all or nothing, Schuyler. You have to decide. Him or me.- Oliver Hazzard-Perry

Maybe your unspeakable defects give you power too?

I could deny it if I liked. I could deny anything if I liked.

Talking to Rhett was comparable only to one thing, the feeling of ease and comfort afforded by a pair of old slippers after dancing in a pair too tight.

If we strive for goals, relishing in the pleasure of circumstance, nothing is enjoyable, and life becomes purposeless.

No need to fear death. There will be a tunnel and light.

My favorite part of Comic-Con? The groupies. Man, they have loose morals, really. Men, women, I'm just saying that it gets weird on Sunday night. No, that's sadly never happened.

I'm doing the next Batman. I have to become obsessed about what is offered to me.

They go the long way but we take the short cut Give me the blonde hair, long weave, short cut

I just always felt like animals are spirit guides. I really like animals, I've always felt really drawn to them; they have this energy and magnetism.