Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

He who writes to his beloved every day is not a lover, but a writer.

Belief means nothing without actions

I believe in integrity. Dogs have it. Humans are sometimes lacking it.

Joy has nothing to do with material things or with a man's outward circumstance ... a man living in the lap of luxury can be wretched and a man in the depths of poverty can overflow with joy.

Thou art weighed in the balances and art found wanting.

Basically, I'm a romantic.

As muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone, it could be argued that those who sit quietly and do nothing are making one of the best possible contributions to a world in turmoil.

I am lucky to be what I am! Thank goodness I'm not just a clam, or a ham, or a dusty jar of sour gooseberry jam! I am what I am - that's a great thing to be!

I want to talk about God in a literary way. But I think I would have a very hard time praying to God.

If we are wrong, we will have destroyed a threat that, at its least is responsible for inhuman carnage and suffering. That is something I am confident history will forgive.