Members of the Senate and House, if they want to send troops into war, should be forced to send a family member. That would really make everyone stop and go, 'Ohhh-kaaay.'

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

Walking on water is safer than sailing in a leaking boat.

An Important thing : never lie to yourself, for real... worst thing is when you lie to yourself, you just keep doing it and you don't know.

Humility is nothing but the disappearance of self in the vision that God is all.

Most of the time we are so busy letting our actions speak for us that nobody can hear our words.

Hey, I see people manacled to log walls all the time. You bet. It’s a popular sport in Bear Flat. Gonna replace fishing soon.

May you hear the voice of wisdom. Listening, may you act with trust.

I do not judge you. The magistrate sits in your heat that judges you. I never thought you but a good man, John-only somewhat bewildered.

I'm a complete worrier. As soon as my head hits the pillow I'm thinking.

I always thought, if I can affect one kid and help him or her fulfil their dreams, that would be kinda neat, so I want to ensure that I'm remembered in a good way.

The eye likes novelty, but the ear craves familiarity.