McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Riches are not only measured by money but the wisdom and knowledge you possess.

One's mind has a way of making itself up in the background, and it suddenly becomes clear what one means to do.

Most days, I practice piano in the mornings and I spend the rest of the day painting.

Swim or sink, live or die, survive or perish with my country was my unalterable determination.

War is the supreme drama of a completely mechanized society.

Imagine the marvels we would experience if we believed in the things in which we don't believe.

I don't want to be remembered as the girl who was shot. I want to be remembered as the girl who stood up.

If you create your life with love, your dream becomes a masterpiece of art.

Have you ever noticed how people who wear camouflage gear really stand out in a crowd?

You could be winning and feel like you're losing because the scorecard you're using is unfair.