Maybe in 10 years,I'll only be doing "classical" comedy. Or crashing my car into trees.

A lot of my humor centers on the act of telling jokes and I think this can prevent certain audiences from suspending their feeling of disbelief. It might piss a few people off, but I can't help it.

I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time.

I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.

Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not.

I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world.

In real life, comedians aren't funny.

I knew that if I was going to write a book, I was going to have to read one, too.

I tend to a lot of improvisational ranting, and that's fun. For me, stand-up has been, performance-wise, a really good outlet.

I like doing all different types of comedy - stand-up, sketch, movies, TV. I like to try everything.

Cats are unpredictable because they're wild and domestic at the same time. Watching a cat's behavior is like a small window into the wild.

Keisha said... I'm going to ride you so hard you might regret seeking shelter here.Gabe replied... IF you don't, I'm gonna need to go back out and throw myself into a snowbank just to cool off

Who you are as a person will only be amplified once you are 'famous, ' so if you had a good heart, then I would imagine you'll have the same good heart but the means to do even more with it.

Whether you call it Buddhism or another religion, self-discipline, that's important. Self-discipline with awareness of consequences.

School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

Reason is no match for desire: when desire is purely and powerfully felt, it becomes a kind of reason of its own.

Give not thyself up, then, to fire, lest it invert thee, deaden thee, as for the time it did me. There is a wisdom that is woe; but there is a woe that is madness.

If you can make it easier to consume, people will consume more of it.

Ad astra per aspera. Translated: "to the stars through difficulties".

One of the little-celebrated powers of Presidents (and other high government officials) is to listen to their critics with just enough sympathy to ensure their silence.

People with disabilities want to be recognised for what they can do, not what they can't do.