Leave the door open," my dad said, the second most common warning in his arsenal. Right behind, "Nash, go home.

What if I was the sexual equivalent of popcorn? Suitable for light snacking only?

The worst memories stick with us, while the nice ones always seem to slip through our fingers.

Chocolate says "I'm sorry" so much better than words.

You don't know me. Don't ever think you know me. The only things you know about me are the things you made me do, and that illustrates your character, not mine.

I am not cute. I am the dreaded Grim Reaper. People fear me, you know. There's a whole song about it.

At least you don’t need a prescription for tequila.

Stay for me. Stay with me. There will never be anyone else. Not in my bed. Not in my life. And not in my heart.

If she were going to die, I'd already be screaming. I'm a female bean sidhe. That's what we do.

You know, most girls sleep with a teddy bear or an extra pillow. But I gotta say, that's kinda hot.

...sometimes compassion is the greater part of honor.

If I wanted a life of chastity I’d live with my wife.

A social movement that only moves people is merely a revolt. A movement that changes both people and institutions is a revolution.

The best cure for a hangover is something one straight man can't do for another straight man.

I like if you're reading something, and they're saying something you always thought, but they're putting it in the exact right way

It's time to wipe the slate clean, recriminalize gambling, just like we did in this country 100 years ago

If sisters were free to express how they really feel, parents would hear this: "Give me all the attention and all the toys and send Rebecca to live with Grandma."

Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too.

Well take care of the counting.

Where it is a general rule that it is wrong to gratify lovers, this can be attributed to the defects of those who make that rule: the government's lust for rule and the subjects' cowardice.

I know the country works extremely well. You know, but when it isn't clogged up.