It was, according to the history books, the fastest coronation since Bubric the Saxon crowned himself with a very pointy crown on a hill during a thunderstorm, and reigned for one and a half seconds.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Love turns men into boys

Wisdom is the spine of a business, money is its oxygen, and God is its strength and life.

Their beauty had always seemed to him like the beauty of pressed flowers - lovely, but dead.

Trying to teach creativity is the major hoax of our time along with the Iraq war and plastic surgery" ~ Snarky comment of Clive from "The River Swimmer" (pg 47)

as the determinants of high status keep shifting, so, too, naturally, will the triggers of status anxiety be altered.

A chill swept through the air, the sort of graveyard kiss promising bad news to follow.

When a man is tired of life on his 21st birthday it indicates that he is rather tired of something in himself.

No man can be patient who has not strong passions, for patience is passion tamed.

There's something every woman wants, and that's a man to blame.

The mind is its own enemy, that fights itself with the innumerable pliant and ineluctable arms of the octopus.