It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

King Solomon's life reminds meof wisdom, wealth, women, woes.

The woman was simply leaving us alone with our future, the future she wouldn't be a part of. She didn't know how to do it or what it was, but she was trying to give it to us.

Character, simply stated, is doing what you say you’re going to do.

Mountains are earth's undecaying monuments.

Did you find yourself?" "What?" said my sister. "Did you find yourself?" "She found me," I said.

I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.

A freshet in the autumn does not compensate for a drought in the spring.

Beauty is a frail good.

You can't have silence on the radio; people will turn away from the station.

Let us respect others no one lives alone in a city, a nation, or a world.