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Amy Schumer Quotes: It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?
         

It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?


Amy Schumer
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Other quotes of Amy Schumer


We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.



You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.

You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.



I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.

I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.



I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.

I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three years.



Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'

Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'



Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.

Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.



Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.

Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly about that.



I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.

I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I just thought it was, like, his thang, you know? I was like, 'He's probably in a band.



I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.

I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story - I will.



I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'

I'll never forget how she told us. She took us all out to brunch, and she was like, 'You guys, I'm keeping this one.'





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I will stand up and speak in my own voice and no man will ever silence me again.

I will stand up and speak in my own voice and no man will ever silence me again.



For I may fall and I may fail but I will stand again each time and you will find no satisfaction.

For I may fall and I may fail but I will stand again each time and you will find no satisfaction.



When we get in late and the only thing open is fast food, it can be tough to maintain a healthy diet.

When we get in late and the only thing open is fast food, it can be tough to maintain a healthy diet.



In order to live the life we desire, and set the intention for greater happiness and more meaningful connections with others, we have to release the hold that our past has on us

In order to live the life we desire, and set the intention for greater happiness and more meaningful connections with others, we have to release the hold that our past has on us



Man's most serious activity is play.

Man's most serious activity is play.



People who believe in themselves and in a cause greater than themselves can achieve great things-as long as they have a well-intentioned leader to point them in the right direction.

People who believe in themselves and in a cause greater than themselves can achieve great things-as long as they have a well-intentioned leader to point them in the right direction.



I can kick your head off, but I can't, like, play a stupid little video game.

I can kick your head off, but I can't, like, play a stupid little video game.



If you are wearing clothes that you enjoy wearing, everything you do in life becomes fun.

If you are wearing clothes that you enjoy wearing, everything you do in life becomes fun.



Let’s love ourselves, then we can’t fail, To make a better situation. Tomorrow, our seeds will grow, All we need is dedication!

Let’s love ourselves, then we can’t fail, To make a better situation. Tomorrow, our seeds will grow, All we need is dedication!



One has to speak out and stand up for one's convictions. Inaction at a time of conflagration is inexcusable.

One has to speak out and stand up for one's convictions. Inaction at a time of conflagration is inexcusable.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "It's a weird age. They're like, 'Amy, I'm pregnant.' And I still don't know whether to be like, 'Congratulations,' or 'Do you need a ride?". Author of this quote is Amy Schumer. This quote is about congratulations, pregnant, needs, age, amy,.