Insofar as he'd formed any opinion of her, it was that she suffered from misplaced gentility and the mistaken belief that etiquette meant good breeding. She mistook mannerisms for manners.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If we don't understand our tools, then there is a danger we will become the tool of our tools. We think of ourselves as Google's customers, but really we're its products.

Free yourself from the people who cause you drama and poison your soul. You know who they are... The first ones you thought of when you read this. They have to go.

And for Peter... well, sometimes cruelty is kindness in disguise. Sometimes pain is the best teacher. Sometimes it does you no harm to realize that there's a limit to what you can get away with.

Alternatives and particularly desirable alternatives grow only on imaginary trees.

The nation guarantees the nurture, education, and comfortable maintenance of every citizen from the cradle to the grave.

Abstract pictures are fictive models, because they make visible a reality that we can neither see nor describe, but whose existence we can postulate.

Every character is a baby. You can't choose between them. If you can, you didn't do your job. You have to fall in love with every character.

I am my own worst enemy. My friends and family will say, Youve got everything going for you right now, and I say, Oh yes, but! Which is not a good way to be.

I'm an easy date, as someone would say!

Life is to be enjoyed, not simply endured. Pleasure and goodness and joy support the pursuit of survival.