If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Kill you all!" The clown was laughing and screaming. "Try to stop me and I'll kill you all! Drive you crazy and then kill you all! You can't stop me!

We do not have control over many thingsin life and deathbut we do have controlover the meaning we give it.

Ironically, women who acquire power are more likely to be criticized for it than are the men who have always had it.

Imagination is more valuable than information.

Wonder has no opposite; it springs up already doubled in itself, compounded of dread and desire at once, attraction and recoil, producing a thrill, the shudder of pleasure and of fear.

When I heard, Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, I thought, Did he fall or was he pushed?

Human beings are still fish.

I believe a strong NATO has been the bulwark of our defence in Europe. Obviously that's important in the UK national interest and I believe it's important in the US national interest

I turned a lot of people in white America - and not just white America, but middle-class America - into hip-hoppers, you know?