If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of the 1950s.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression.

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever, take up gardening.

My eyebrows could do with a trim.

Don Quixote's 'Delusions' is an excellent read - far better than my own forthcoming travel book, 'Walking Backwards Across Tuscany.'

I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough.

It is more interesting to be compared to someone famous, because it lets you gauge what perceptions people have about your appearance.

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

The moon puts on an elegant show, different every time in shape, colour and nuance.

Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended.

Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.

You will always have time for what you make time for

No ethical person wants to be a king or a queen, because there is no ethics and honor in putting yourself in a place higher than others!

The ego of a god, the wit of a goldfish.

He who writes carelessly confesses thereby at the very outset that he does not attach much importance to his own thoughts.

Kids cannot follow stories. They don't know what the hell is going on in a cartoon. They like to see funny visual things happening.

The thing with the comics is that you have license to go down every alley your brain can think of.

What is the future of the woman's movement How in the hell do I know I don't run it.

[Marriage is] like signing a 356-page contract without knowing what's in it.

The way I write is that I'll actually have a conversation out loud with myself. In a weird way, I just kind of get schizophrenic and play two characters.