If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

Shouldn't the long-term goal of any society be complete unemployment?

One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.

I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they're scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: You can't just go out and sell it for what it's worth, we're holding out for so much more!

What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.

Never sleep with a lady only once, especially in the case of an older lady.-'Rhett

They miss the whisper that runsany day in your mind, "Who are you really, wanderer?"--and the answer you have to giveno matter how dark and coldthe world around you is:"Maybe I'm a king.

You cannot function in an unction you don't take action on.

To pray together in whatever tongue or ritual is the most tender brotherhood of hope and sympathy that man can contract in this life.

It is the nature of the self to manifest itself, In every atom slumbers the might of the self.

Richard Nixon was a criminally insane Monster - Bill Clinton is a black-hearted Swine of a friend.

Living in continual chaos is exhausting, frightening. The catch is that it's also very addictive.

You would never do stand-up without an audience. I mean, no one would even consider it. It's like they're the instrument you're playing.

Switch clicking off in my head, turning the hot light off and the cool night on and — [He looks up, smiling sadly.] — all of a sudden there's—peace!

A melancholy sound is in the air, A deep sigh in the distance, a shrill wail Around my dwelling. 'Tis the Wind of night.