If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

A writer only begins a book. A reader finishes it.

Rarely use Venery but for Health or Offspring; Never to Dulness, Weakness, or the Injury of your own or another's Peace or Reputation.

People are more dangerous when they're calm. When theyre loud and aggressive that's usually an act and usually trying to compensate

There are few places more lonely than a crowded night club.

It is hard to make government representative when it is also remote.

Despotism accomplishes great things illegally; liberty doesn't even go to the trouble of accomplishing small things legally.

Photography is a strange phenomenon... You trust your eye and cannot help but bare your soul.

The people have the power. All we have to do is awaken the power in the people.

Christ the Lord is risen. Our joy that hath no end.

In music, if you hit a wrong note, people forgive you. In magic when something goes wrong, the entire art is destroyed.