If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got mixed up with the next race.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

Dream big and never give up on those dreams. Who knows where they'll take you?

Social power is at stake in theory-making, but the workings of this power are often unacknowledged -- and overdeter

On life's stage for your real life play, always choose the best, most excellent actors for top success.

Fast food is inexpensive, convenient, and it tastes good. I'm all in favor of that. My problem is how heavily processed it is - how full of salt, fat, and sugar it is.

Give something, however small, to the one in need. For it is not small to one who has nothing. Neither is it small to God, if we have given what we could.

Imagination, devotion, perseverance, together with divine grace, will assure your success.

I never wish for critics.

The only way to lead people is to show them a future: a leader is a dealer in hope.

I’m really not interested in women as victims. Look at me, I get the last laugh ‘cause I get to be funny about it.

There are only two types of cinema - good or bad.