If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.

Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Accidents happen all the time.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

Hope can keep you alive in the midst of the turbulence.

Nobody out-rednecks the great state of America.

All the drug dealers and gang members with whom I dealt had [a cell phone] long before any police officer I knew did.

As soon as I ended up being incarcerated, I said, you know, this is not the life for me.

Live more and more in the Present, which is ever beautiful and stretches away beyond the limits of the past and the future.

The turn I made was not the one I planned. And I watched my social standing slip away from me, while I watched the bottle slowly take command.

Since I do seven different styles of martial arts, I don't foresee myself fighting the same in any two movies. I think every fighting style should fit the character that's doing the fighting.

Given that we are passing the climate change bill, which is based on the supposition that the climate is getting warmer, let me point out that it is now snowing outside, in October.

I do like a lot of things that a lot of adults would scoff at. 'SpongeBob SquarePants,' 'Looney Tunes.'

If you strip away self-effacement, charm and the spirit of mischief-qualities that make determination and ambition tolerable- you're left with a right ar**hole.