If law school is so hard to get through how come there are so many lawyers?

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

Losing your job is an awesome opportunity to look inside yourself and make new discoveries

Equipped with his five senses, man explores the universe around him and calls the adventure Science.

If it is peace you want, seek to change yourself, not other people. It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to carpet the whole of the earth.

Voice comes to you through a spell, a trance. The best voices are not you... they're a little away from you.

In primary school, I was bored witless by Australian history.

Affection reproaches, but does not denounce.

The odd thing is, that I wrote The Great Spring while I had cancer and it's not about cancer. It was after I was done with cancer that I wrote a book about it.

I think anyone who has an opinion, and voices it, will offend someone.

I'm too shy to do kissing scenes.

I was spent up. I sure grabbed that girl of mine.