If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

When you know what you want to communicate, ask yourself: Who is my audience and what does he know about the subject?

Mostly I've never let record companies become involved with my music, which was a very smart thing that my first manager Dave Robinson did, to keep them out of it.

I hope I can make some Hollywood-type action films like 'Batman' or 'Spiderman', action films like that. With some wire work, maybe wearing a mask. Like that.

We now have many of the answers that once eluded Darwin, thanks to two developments that he could not have imagined: continental drift and molecular taxonomy.

England is the Mother of Parliaments

I called Clay from the SUV. "How'd it go at the paper?" he asked. "She called me perky." "Ouch.

I was never into the Bluegrass, Bill Monroe and stuff like that.

I try to do something physical every day. I don't go heavy every day, though.

Death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.

When I take a look at a company's annual report, if I don't understand it, they don't want me to understand it.