If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Don't hang out with people who are:UngratefulUnhelpfulUnrulyUnkindlyUnlovingUnambitiousUnmotivatedor make you feel...Uncomfortable

You don't have to do something every day that scares you. There's no fun in being terrified. Do one thing every day that makes you happy.

I was always making up rhymes. But I never thought that poetry would become my life.

You know most of the food that Americans hold so dear - things like hamburgers and hot dogs - were road food, but even before they were road food, they were peasant food.

My best business decision is always to have been unembarrassed about negotiating a decent deal. Not being coy or shy about money is second nature to me.

Coconut oil is the healthiest oil on earth.

The silence in the room had width, height, depth, mass and substance.

By the time the Oscars are on I'll be seventy. How many more chances am I going to have to get nominated for an Oscar?

The drums are what drives the whole thing. It's the backbone of the song.

In other words, If you don't take action, you won't get any results You are not your resume, you are your work