If I could email my jokes to the crowd and get the same immediate response [as during stand-up], I'd do that.

I think a lot of people get into stand-up to be the center of attention, which is perfectly legitimate. But I think I got in there to be heard.

You might not agree with something, but it doesn't mean you don't need to listen to it. White people have to accept that they don't always know about racism.

Comedy is like expensive cheese. Well, it's like cheese, in general. Everybody likes what they like, and everything they don't like, they think is the worst.

I'm of the opinion that if you step on stage and you're not a straight white male, you're automatically making a political statement whether you know it or not.

It doesn't do any good to just be on the side of black people. The funnier comedic position is to be on the side of oppressed people in general.

I feel like you can share as many jokes as you want to because no joke you do on Twitter is ever gonna be so big on Twitter, for the most part, that you can't say it on stage that same night.

Some things just strike me as funny. The way things play out just makes me laugh sometimes. It drives my wife crazy sometimes because I'll just be laughing for no reason.

I'm a dad, and that's really important to me, and I realize now that I'm a dad that it's a major part of my identity.

You pretty much have to be bad at it [stand-up] for several years to get good at it, so there's no avoiding embarrassing yourself.

I think the need to go on stage speaks to some sort of a profound psychological deficit, but something that happened when you were a kid. Or something your parents did.

Vision leads to proper planning and proper planning leads to successful completion.

Art finds a way to be constructive. It becomes heat in cold places; it becomes light in dark places.

Fortune, like other females, prefers a lover to a master, and submits with impatience to control; but he that wooes her with opportunity and importunity will seldom court her in vain.

Let us live not only to serve God ourselves; let us live to help our children and their children live for God.

Life is like therapy - real expensive and no guarantees.

People who can't be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate.

I believe that all wisdom consists in caring immensely for a few right things, and not caring a straw about the rest.

The flood of time is rolling on; We stand upon its brink, whilst they are gone To glide in peace down death's mysterious stream. Have ye done well?

Official history is believing the murderers at their word.

It's not enough to be in the right place at the right time. You have to be the right person in the right place at the right time.