IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Watch carefully the magic that occurswhen you give a person enough comfort to just be themselves.

He couldn't stop staring at her cleavage...The vee in between beckoned him like a bee to nectar.

Life humbles the rich by giving them problems that money can’t resolve, or, dissolve. Life enslaves the poor by giving them problems that money can resolve, or, dissolve.

LOGAN: I’ve come to learn that people are going to hate you and like you, no matter what. I’d rather be around people I want to be around.

We are adhering to life now with our last muscle - the heart.

I do not know what right I have to so much happiness, but rather hold it in reserve till the time of my desert.

A vow is fixed and unalterable determination to do a thing, when such a determination is related to something noble which can only uplift the man who makes the resolve.

And I'm a slow writer: five, six hundred words is a good day. That's the reason it took me 20 years to write those million and a half words of the Civil War.

Adoption gives us the privilege of sons, regeneration the nature of sons.

Will I, succeed, paranoid from the weed and hocus pocus, try to focus but I can't see.