I've seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn't understand their comedy or their sensibility.

As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection.

I suddenly had this really mad desire to have an affair with a woman. I was divorced. I was childless. I figured there's got to be one more way to really tick off my mom.

Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I'll share my secret with you: I live in a senior citizen retirement community.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I was over there in Hawaii. I was there on the big island. The 'Big Island' - that name cracks me up. First of all, it's not that big, so I'm pretty sure a guy came up with that name.

They're all sources of material. What I love about what I do, the more you talk about your life, there are so many people who have similar experiences.

All my other relationships with men, there was so much maneuvering and strategic decisions and stuff.

Women, stop buying the lingerie. Stop buying it right now. Oh, it's a big rip off. Oh my god, $18 bucks for panties this big? Come on, one trip through the dryer, and it's a frilly bookmark.

Just be your authentic self because there's nothing sexier or more beautiful than that.

I'm not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you could have gotten a 'yes.' So it's worthwhile to have the cojones to do it.

Become your own best friend—smile and say “I love you” to yourself occasionally.

While there are many that journey who seek, not all that travel will find, for they are bound by what they have been taught and not of what they know.”- The Tapestry of Spirit

It is in the darkest hour that a star reveals its brightest light.

Women are just beginning to see that there's something about being a woman that's innately different from being a man. I love what I'm seeing take place and I know Julia has so much to offer.

I'd love to have a shoe line, or a sunglasses line, or a purse line. Who am I kidding, I'd like to have an everything line!

The first white men of your people who came to our country were named Lewis and Clark.

Dennis Hopper is one of the great American lives.

Without hope we are lost.

I'm making fun of myself and I think I'm making fun of all men in our desperate, desperate attempt to understand the people we're with and hopefully through humor have them understand us.

If Jesus Christ was not perfect, then the religion bearing his name falls to the ground.