I've lost some weight. I am on that new Obama diet. Every day I let Vladimir Putin eat my lunch.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

Things that are easy to do, are easy not to do.

Take courage; pain's extremity soon ends.

Competition is pretty much the essence of everything, it gives humans drive.

If you'd have said Evangelical in 1957, most people wouldn't know what you were talking about. And then, they'd be against it.

I wake up in the morning and I say 'Ahh! Today's the day for a song! I'm going to write a song today!' And I do. I write a song.

I was more feminine. I was a girly-girl until I moved to New York. Then I got really into the androgynous look of the early-'90s club scene.

Make disciples of all the nations in my Name.

People who are suffering have to visualize ways out of tragedy to actually get out of it.

Readers tend to devour short stories on a newssheet, but would be disinclined to read them in collections

It's a gamble. A band like Kiss, a lot of those are our audience but we don't do as much make-up. Alice would have more to lose if we got back together.