I've always been attracted to sad. If you look at Woody Allen movies, he's often playing a sad clown, and it's always been interesting. And angry clown is even more interesting.

You know you have a drinking problem when the bartender knows your name -- and you've never been to that bar before.

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort.

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

If you read my blog, you know I'm a pilates freak. And by pilates, I mean waffles.

Tigers love pepper...they hate cinnamon.

Whether you are on the Right or the Left, everyone can agree that there are a lot of outside influences in American politics that are not good for the system. There's just too much money.

You know it's time to do the laundry when you dry off with a sneaker.

I dream of moving to India, or Pakistan, and becoming a cabdriver.

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch.

John’s standard maneuver to ask someone to help him, especially in a moment of crisis,

I think are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been. -William Golding

Cause sometimes it's hard to let the future begin!

The American public tunes in every night hoping to see two people screwing. Obviously, we can't give them that but let's always keep it in mind.

Life is like a parachute jump, you've got to get it right the first time.

I can't sit around having coffee. I have all these appointments, and a lot of my friends sit around having coffee talking about the jobs they didn't get.

It's a hard slog doing promotion, but its nothing compared to working in a factory packing meat pies or whatever.

Politics has become unbelievably and unfortunately way too much about how much money is involved rather than what kind of ideas are involved.

Nature is no spendthrift, but takes the shortest way to her ends.