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Demetri Martin Quotes: I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
         

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.


Demetri Martin
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I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.
         



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Other quotes of Demetri Martin


I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.



How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.



I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.



The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.



A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.



Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.



The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.



The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.



A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.



When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.





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Do not postpone your happiness to "achievement" of goals. It is not worth postponing your happiness, even for a moment...Learn to "be happy" first, and then go about achieving your goals...

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Women's rights is not only an abstraction, a cause; it is also a personal affair. It is not only about us; it is also about me and you. Just the two of us.

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This page presents the quote "I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies. Now I am good at everything.". Author of this quote is Demetri Martin. This quote is about play, good,.