I used to be really snobby about music. I'm not as snobby as I used to be, though. I have this great bit about not getting mad about music anymore. It just happens when you get older.

Since I was 14. I grew up surfing. That's all I wanted to do.

Just start writing and you'll find what you want to say.

I grew up very Catholic. I wanted to be a priest.

People have said that to me: They say I have a TV face.

New York is a place that can grind you down and spit you out. A true New Yorker doesn't get ground down, he gets polished.

I've had a good run of birthdays, and now no one will notice when I die.

Paint yourself into a corner so that you don't have any other option but to continue forward.

I'm just going to keep doing comedy because I don't know what else to do. I have no other applicable skills.

I put so much energy into with improv. You can only perform it at a place where people are, essentially, taking improv classes so that they just appreciate what's happening.

Improv requires your audience to be informed about what improv is. With stand-up, anybody can sit down and watch stand-up and laugh at jokes.

Think and keep quiet among those you don't trust.

Ultimately though, we are not responsible for another's happiness. The unhappy person almost always suffers from self-inflicted pain.

When did creating a flawless facade become a more vital goal than learning to love the person who lives inside your skin?

The MacGuffin is that thing which is most important to us - that most essential thing. The audience will supply it, each member for himself.

But the eyes, though they are no sailors, will never be satisfied with any model, however fashionable, which does not answer all the requisitions of art.

Chin up, shoulders back. Let ‘em know you’re here. #ProudOfWhoYouAre

There is a purpose in life--to raise men nearer to the likeness of God. Whoever seeks that ideal, daily, finds joy; and in no other way can true joy be found.

My kids think I'm old and over the hill.

Some people are just born wack, you can't teach certain wackness.

Trust not too much to appearances