I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind off that.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

I did my best parenting by prayer. I began to speak less to the kids and more to God. It was actually quite relaxing.

A good martial artist does not become tense, but ready.

Clark Gable was the epitome of the movie star - so romantic, such bearing, such friendliness.

If you do the math, films featuring women are a good investment.

Grasp not at much, for fear thou losest all.

It is doubtless one of Aristotle's great services that he conceived so clearly the truth that literature is a thing that grows and has a history.

It’s precisely because of the pain, the we can get the feeling, through this process, of really being alive—or at least a partial sense of it.

I'm shy, although I'm not shy with my friends and family.

The next evolutionary step is into the screen.