I think it's interesting that cologne rhymes with alone.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

You are young. So you know everything. You leap into the boat and begin rowing. But, listen to me. Without fanfare, without embarrassment, without doubt, I talk directly to your soul. Listen to me.

I was born to become victorious, to become a model, to inspire others and to become a leader.

Fear is the highest fence.

I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art!

If you never concede a goal, you're going to win more games than you lose.

We love those people who give with humility, or who accept with ease.

The most dangerous people are the ignorant.

The fact that I've managed to find a husband who understands and respects everything I do is astonishing.

I desire no honour if I have to conceal my religious beliefs in order to have it.

The definition of hell is a place where nothing connects with nothing.