I think comedians start off as pranksters or something.

A pope going through a faith crisis would be funny to see.

My doctor told me i had Attention Deficit Disorder. He said, 'ADD is a complex disorder, blah, blah, blah,' I didn't pay attention to the rest.

I have a swastika tattoo on my arm, but it's just because I like right-hand turns.

I think a bird is the worst present you can give somebody because it's guilt-ridden. This animal has the gift of flight, and you put it in a cage and watch it not do that until it dies.

I love doing different things where, for a little while, I can focus on standup then sketch writing, then performing, then directing a video. That, to me, is stimulating.

I like to edit; I like to work with other people, and that's something stand-up doesn't really have.

Very specifically, Nickelodeon is aimed at eight- and nine-year-olds.

Every year, dads will dress up as Santa and try to surprise their kids by coming down the chimney, and every year, a dad gets stuck and dies.

My big influences are piano artists like Billy Joel and Elton John.

if you keep a distance to get a respect, keep a distance to keep the respect

Question: Where do I go from here?Answer: Out of your comfort zone. In the direction of your dreams.

How can you be content to be in the world like tulips in a garden, to make a fine show, and be good for nothing.

The years keep going by and you realize, Wow. Doing these records is such a process: going on tour for a year and a half, then you get home and you want to do other things.

I try to make fun of myself and let people know that I�m a human being, and these things that have happened to me are real. I�m not just some cartoon who exists and suddenly doesn�t exist.

I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.

England is my home, but Australia is my land and my country. This is where my heart is and where my family are. Australia will always be there, but I've made the decision to live here.

As a child, I wanted to know how things worked and to control them.

I have a message from the Tea Party, a message that is loud and clear and does not mince words. We've come to take our government back.

You don't drown by falling in water. You only drown if you stay there.