I think bears and worms aren't very similar... until you think of gummy.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Express your ideas and your thoughts.

California, here I come, right back where I started from.

Music is the only thing that will give and give and give and not take.

Some people fall in love with their co-stars and feel things that they never thought they would feel for them because they are touching.

I'm not going to tell [Vladimir] Putin what to do. Why should I tell Putin what to do?

I am not the Prime Minister of French capitalism. I am the Prime Minister of France.

The boldness of endurance is the underline to almost every success.

I strongly believe that people may not want, or may not be able, to start again from scratch, so giving old furniture a new lease of life is at the heart of my philosophy.

Do you need anything before I go? I want you to return my wits, I long to say.

Unfortunately, most men would only be interested in a woman's mind if it bounced when she walked.