I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire.

You always pass failure on the way to success.

Dont retire - inspire...Theres a lot to be done

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

Look, I come from vaudeville, I come from burlesque, I come from heartaches, I come from sadness, I come from gladness, I come from work and sweat and respect for the craft.

I hear Jerry Falwell every Sunday here talking about the devil and Hollywood. . . . I'm gonna write him a letter. Hollywood wasn't built on filth and dirt - it was built on talent.

I don't regret anything I've ever done. I only wish I could have done more.

Life is an infiltration course. We all try and get through it. We all try and get through it unscathed - maybe not hurt, not bruised. No bones broken, maybe a few hearts here and there.

And that's the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.

Someone once asked me what I want on my epitaph when I pass away. Just the words 'I tried.' That's what this game of life is all about. Trying. There's the tryers, the criers, and the liars.

In the depths of hell roasting on a spit if it meant getting to be close to you.

Happiness is a fantasy that real people know doesn't exist.

Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities.

I've got an accountant who's been with me forty years. If he makes a mistake, he dies.

It's nice to come into a town and be referred to as the manager of the Cleveland Indians instead of as the first black manager.

the mother's first job is to raise a daughter strong enough to outlast her.

There is no aphrodisiac like innocence.

My non-co-operation is a token of my earnest longing for real heart co-operation in the place of co-operation falsely so called.

Dogs wait for us faithfully.

It is wonderful to think how men of very large estates not only spend their yearly income, but are often actually in want of money. It is clear, they have not value for what they spend.