I'm constantly in fear of having a stroke.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

The study book for life’s tests is the whole of our experience. Though we mayfeel unprepared, tests appear only when we are truly ready to ace them.

You might want more time in your life to attempt the things you like to do, and not just perform the things you have to do.

Her melodious laughter sounded like the distant tinkling of soft bells and he stored the sound in her temple- his heart.

Going into Indianapolis, playing Indiana, I guess bring it on. It's what we've caught at the end of the year, and we've got to try to make the best of it.

There are no laws, there are no rules, just grab your friend and love him.

Goodness is a process of becoming, not of being. What we do over and over again is what we become in the end.

If I went to jail, at least I wouldn't have to sign autographs.

We're having the first computer-generated comic strip in the United States.

Feminism has neglected the needs of woman of color and people of color in general. But I don't think it means that we should overlook feminism as having nothing valuable to contribute.

The only two men I have time for are Barack Obama and my trainer.