I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

To Be Successful You Don't Need Beautiful Face And Heroic Body, What You Need is Skillful Mind And Ability To Perform

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

I'm not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

The older you get, the more you realise how happenstance... has helped to determine your path through life.

But I always feel that whatever I do, I could do better. I suppose it is perfectionism.

I want to express myself in a different way. I have a performing inclination.

I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I'm in the company of good friends, but I'm not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious.

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

Art is something that nobody laughs at and nobody makes any money out of is the attitude, which I would dispute.

The path of my life is strewn with cow pats from the devil's own satanic herd!

One of the most convicting things I have recently come to realize about Jesus is that He was never, not once, in a hurry.

Before it was just her infernal curves that fretted me, but now I've taken her whole soul into my soul, and through her I've become a man!

When you do the common things in an uncommon way, you'll command the attention of the world.

I'm the last person to ask 'what do you remember' from a particular time period... I like to learn from the past... not 'live' in it.

The lean startup method is not about cost, it is about speed.

A physician who treated mental cases says that he based his diagnosis on the way his patients moved: "The body never lies" was his maxim.

God brings tests into your life because your faith in Him--your belief that He is in control and that He is good--can be proved only in times when life is hard.

Be prepared and be honest.

When I read passages like this, I want to look for the nearest wall to bang my head against.

Real economic stimulus comes from real investment.