I'm a very neat monster.

I know family comes first, but shouldn't that mean after breakfast?

I don't know if you have noticed this, but it is quite possible for two human beings to have a conversation in which one or both parties involved has absolutely no idea what they're talking about.

No big deal. We all have blood in us, the trick is keeping it inside.

Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.

Life's only obligation, afterall, was to be interesting.

I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book

But as I have noticed on more than one occaision, life itself is unfair, and there is no complaint department, so we might as well accept things the way they happen, clean up the mess, and move on.

And I was having too much fun to stop now.

you can’t use logic on human behavior.

Our universe is ruled by random whim, inhabited by people who laugh at logic.

Authoritarian, paralyzing, circular, occasionally elliptical stock phrases, also jocularly referred to as nuggets of wisdom, are a malignant plague, one of the very worst ever to ravage the earth.

The Bible says we're to be moderate in all things. It's good to help others but not at the expense of your own family.

Ive never supported a payroll tax.

I'd love to play a rock star in a movie, but for now, I'm not performing in public.

No ethos, pursued without thought or mercy, is ethical.

I like to work with young people, because young people haven’t had their dreams kicked out of them yet. Full of confidence, and imagination, and vision, and when they score that all gets empowered.

It may be observed in general that the future is purchased by the present. It is not possible to secure distant or permanent happiness but by the forbearance of some immediate gratification.

Content dictates form and style.

I didn't sleep with the European Cup but it was in my room! It was just special and I just had to have the cup with me, lifting the cup as Liverpool captain was just the best moment of my life.

As I am never better than when I am mad; then methinks I am a brave fellow; then I do wonders: but reason abuseth me, and there's the torment, there's the hell.