I like Thelonious Monk, he's so gnarled, he's like a piece of machinery that's pulled up the bolts on the floor and gone off on its own.

A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion, but doesn't.

Don't plant your bad days. They grow into weeks. The weeks grow into months. Before you know it, you got yourself a bad year. Take it from me - choke those little bad days. Choke 'em down to nothing.

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

I'd rather have a free bottle in front of me than a prefrontal lobotomy.

when your down on your luck and you've lost all your dreams theres nothing like a campfire and a can of beans

I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.

The folks who know the truth aren't talking.... The ones who don't have a clue, you can't shut them up!

You have to keep busy. After all, no dog's ever pissed on a moving car.

When I was younger, I wanted to be older. Now I am older, I am not quite so sure.

Most people don't care if you're telling them the truth or if you're telling them a lie, as long as they're entertained by it.

Don't join the book burners. Don't think you're going to conceal faults by concealing evidence that they ever existed. Don't be afraid to go in your library and read every book...

My Life is My MOM & DAD

The hardest part about moving from nice California weather was the freezing cold New York.

Belief has no place as far as science reaches, and may be first permitted to take root where science stops.

Very little is off -limits, but draw the line at being unkind.

Life is for action, and if we desire to know anything, we must make up our minds to be ignorant about much.

It is not he who gains the exact point in dispute who scores most in controversy - but he who has shown the better temper.

When I got off the soap I got offered all these, you know, 'women in jeopardy' -- I call them 'disease of the week' movies.

Every time you post something online you have a choice. You can either make it something that adds to the happiness levels in the world-or you can make it something that takes away.