I just like to make people laugh.

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me.

If it smells like fish its a dish. If it smells like cologne leave it alone.

Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!

I always just loved women, but more important than loving women, more important than sexual stuff, is I always believed in romance.

I've been getting in trouble my whole life and I really don't care what anybody thinks of what I do on stage as a comic.

I'll always push myself because that's the journey of life. We do go through things. Some of it's incredibly great and some of it's really bad.

Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The wardrobe is really important to feeling the character you're playing.

I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.

If Lady Gaga didn't put on all those outfits, she probably wouldn't have made it in show business. She put a show behind her voice.

I am glad I will not be young in a future without wilderness.

I am many things. Stupid is not one of them. Your wrath is impressive for a mortal.

Hairpieces are brilliant for adding volume.

Don't do anything to stop a woman from flying; let fate take its course.

All the gifts and talents we have are from God, but they are also for God...for His glory and for His pleasure. Don't waste them, make great use of them and make Him proud.

Yes, you are nosy. You're a dreadfully nosy, horribly bossy, appallingly clean old woman. Control yourself. You're victimizing us all.

It is not sufficient that I succeed - all others must fail.

Ktaadnis an Indian word signifying highest land,... very few, even among backwoodsmen and hunters, have ever climbed it, andit will be a long time before the tide of fashionable travel sets that way.

I love to sleep. I'd sleep all day if I could.

Today, the army only occupies the territory once the war is over.