I have never lost my temper. I let out my venom in my writing if I have to, but person-to-person, I have never lost my temper, never used abusive language.

Morality is a matter of money. Poor people cannot afford to have morals. So they have religion.

No one has invented a condom for the pen yet. My pen is still sexy.

Your principle should be to see everything and say nothing. The world changes so rapidly that if you want to get on you cannot afford to align yourself with any person or point of view.

When the world is itself draped in the mantle of night, the mirror of the mind is like the sky in which thoughts twinkle like stars.

The last to learn of gossip are the parties concerned

Freedom is for the educated people who fought for it. We were slaves of the English, now we will be slaves of the educated Indians—or the Pakistanis.

When you have counted eighty years and more, Time and Fate will batter at your door; But if you should survive to be a hundred, Your life will be death to the very core.

But big people’s illnesses are always made to sound big. The simple shutting and opening of the royal arse-hole was made to sound as if the world was coming to an end.

I acquired long-lived parents. My mother died at 94. Father died at 90, holding a glass of whisky. I think that's the secret of longevity - to have long-lived parents. The rest is discipline.

I haven't any close friends. Friendship needs time to interact, sit down, gossip. I don't have that time.

Music is the soundtrack of our lives.

To be most effective, flattery is always best applied with a trowel.

I think I was the healthiest prisoner of conscience in the world.

I have an erratic drummer for anybody who's just listening to this, he can keep time, but just in spurts.

The Democrats are obstructionists. And you know what that's hurting? It's hurting America.

If you're cooking and not making mistakes, you're not playing outside your safety zone. I don't expect it all to be good. I have fat dogs because I scrap that stuff out the back door.

Surely if there be any habit which your own hand and eye should help in forming, it is the habit of prayer.

To say someone is a producer... it's kind of a slippery term.

ONE OF THE LAST GREAT REALIZATIONS is that life will not be what you dreamed.

Of course there are certain things that get to me, but I try and lead by example and show people that, especially with haters, that you should just ignore them.