I have a lot of vanity.

There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.

People who speak in metaphors should shampoo my crotch.

My whole career strategy has been to build a base so that I could take the roles I want to play. I'd hate to think that a shorter part might not be available because I was worried about my billing.

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.

Human beings are always going to find interesting ways of making a mess of their lives. It's human nature.

I don't think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.

Men dominate because of physicality, and thus they have mercy where women do not.

Poetry will die when love and pain cease to exist.

We are the thoughts we choose to keep.

I mean you're cute, but not that cute. Would Rhea really risk life in a maximum security detention unit just so that she could press herself against your manly body?

If you're old, don't try to change yourself, change your environment.

I only judge people by the depth of their squat.

Don't catch the bad and infectious attitudes of others.

The Moral is that gardeners pine, Whene'er no pods adorn the vine. Of all sad words experience gleans, The saddest are: It might have beans.

This idea of compassion comes to us because we're made in the image of God, who is ultimately the compassionate one.

When [books ban] happened, I felt completely alone and that was scary and sad.

I've never done a box set, and Eddie's full of it if he says otherwise.