I get letters from women, and they say, 'I love your Roman nose.' If I weren't on TV and I walked past that same woman, she'd go, 'Did you see the beak on that guy?'

My dad was Jewish. My mom is not. So I was not raised anything.

It usually takes two people a little while to learn where the funny buttons are and testy buttons are.

So you can look me in the eye and say that you are a president committed to cleaning up the environment?

Not a lot of conservatives on this list. Are more liberals than conservatives screwing up America?

The fact that you fell out of bed makes some people think you had more than one drink before you called for help.

The Iraqis have once again failed to meet a deadline for a final draft of the constitution.

Not only is it a great concept and a great idea -- helping people -- it's good pizza too!

America remembers. On this 12th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, the nation honors those who were lost.

If you are the person who gets the lion's share of attention in good times, guess what: you get the lion's share of attention in bad times.

There was always an unspoken generosity about my mom.

A friend who shares is a friend who cares.

What you think about me says more about you than it does about me.

I'm a one-drink woman two at the most three I'm under the table four I'm under the host.

One thought fills immensity.

The art of writing is the manipulation of words to ease the mind and free the imagination

Many people assume that they can probably find many ways to save time. This is an incorrect assumption for it is only when you focus on spending time that you begin to use your time effectively.

I have a spaniel that defrocked a nun last week. He took hold of the cord. I had hold of the leash. It was like elephants holding tails. Imagine me undressing a nun, even second hand.

... in marriage the great thing was love, and that with love one would always be happy, for happiness rests only on oneself.

Mere nails, though pounded deep, were not enough to keep Jesus on the cross. But love was... and love prevailed.

In a conflict of loyalty, obey Jesus at all costs.