I frowned at him. "Isn't sarcasm the opiate of the masses?""You're thinking of religion, " he replied. "Sarcasm is the Xanax of the morally bereft.

Death is a lot like prom - loud, overdone, and although the guy you came with was cool, you never know who'll end up taking you home.

You give frequent flyer miles with that guilt trip?

Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?

I guess my life has been a series of flukes in the record business. The first thing I ever did, was the biggest record that I'll ever have.

I think, I would guess most people keep secrets.

The married are those who have taken the terrible risk of intimacy and, having taken it, know life without intimacy to be impossible.

So can you do me a favor? If I pull it together, make it sooner than later.

Art comes into being in that abstract interval between a thought and reality, and no one - not even the artist who created it - can remeasure the influences that caused it.

I think I have a sense of mischief and that I can laugh at myself.

There are rules but there's really no wrong way.

Young people don't want to sit at home and watch television; they'd sooner be out doing their own thing.

Salvation by the cross. [Lat., In cruce salus.]