I don't know what the big deal about Cracker Jack is. Did you ever go buy a pack of Cracker Jack, thinking you'd get a prize and find no prize in the box? (pause) Here's the pitch.

Someday, the Chicago Cubs are going to be in the World Series...

Hello again, everybody... It's a bee-yoo-tiful day for baseball.

Booze, broads and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?

What does a mama bear on the pill have in common with the World Series? No cubs.

It could be, it might be... It is, A home run!

I knew the profanity used up and down my street would not go over the air... So I trained myself to say 'Holy Cow' instead.

Aw, how could he Jorge Orta lose the ball in the sun, he's from Mexico.

Everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of something bad.

I'll tell you what's helped me my entire life. I look at baseball as a game. It's something where people can go out, enjoy and have fun. Nothing more.

Scott Bullett, as he takes left field, is getting congratulations from everybody. He and his daughter are parents of a new baby.

When experience is bought by pain, it teaches.

To live unhappily, is failing life.

Being loved is the problem, because love is a demand - when you're loved, someone wants more of you.

Diogenes, when asked from what country he came, replied, "I am a citizen of the world."

If you leave me here," the guy on the floor said, "he'll kill me tomorrow morning." Parker looked at him. "So you've still got tonight," he said.

Wayne's World' is my all time favorite comedy. I used to watch it on VHS on repeat with my brother when I was ten years old.

Peace is not sought in order to provoke war, but war is waged in order to attain peace.

Every step which the intelligence of Europe has taken has been in spite of the clerical party.

I'm terrified of passive acquiescence. I live in intensity.

I hold the world but as the world, Gratiano; A stage where every man must play a part, And mine is a sad one.