I'd think of a topic and just rant on it and transfer it to the computer, upload it. It's such a quick thing. You post it on your website and after an hour, 10 people write comments.

Your face makes my soul want to eat chocolate pudding!

I had sadness for breakfast.

I don't want to rap about my car. How generic is that? Be creative.

I'm a really huge fan of papaya juice.

There's a side that I want to do just like really retarded arty films … like parody, pretentious art films that kind of are supposed to have some deep meaning.

I'm on the Internet a lot more than I watch TV and most everybody I know is, and yet if you watch most late-night talk shows, it's as if it doesn't even exist.

I don't know why I do what I do. I tend to go for the really weird, bizarre stuff. I actually have to tone it down for the show.

I was a huge Internet junkie.

I just want $1 million next season, that's all I want

As young as I look, I think it will still be funny if I played a person who's kind of tortured and hates his life. Kind of like a Larry David-type thing.

We limit ourselves and God who wants to work through us

By forgetting the Supreme Lord, all the ailments cling to the man.

To forget oneself is to be happy.

Advice to young writers who want to get ahead without any annoying delays: don't write about Man write about a man.

Old age is a shipwreck.

Lincoln was not a good impromptu speaker; he was at his best when he could read from a carefully prepared manuscript, though maybe a teleprompter could have helped that!

I had that perfect deadpan ... for these commercials. Within the first eight months I had eight national TV commercials. I'm a true Hollywood success story - knew no one, had no connections.

We all love to see excellence as a fan, and I am a fan now watching excellence in the Rangers net.

If i can't have what i want . . . then my job is to want what i've got and be satisfied that at least there is something more to want

The fairytale is irresponsible; it is frankly imaginary, and its purpose is to gratify wishes, as a dream doth flatter.